ADEG (agis2kute) wrote,

A toast

Dear friend,

It just occurred to me: I have a horrible habit of repressing most of my feelings and going out of my way not to express them, positive ones and the negative alike. Oftentimes, in fact, I've found that even when I try to be expressive, the emotion is belied by the general malaise I refer to as my "perma-scowl-and-forehead-furrows." I clearly don't like appearing sentimental. I've resolved this year, however, to remedy that and to be a bit more forthcoming with my sentiments, again positive and negative alike, and actively so to express them.

It is my absolute pleasure to speak to you now, finally after all this time. I think every day about how wonderful it would be were my real friends (id est, those whom I myself consider to be friends of mine, more than simple acquaintances or general familiares) to know how much I care about each of them, in my own way. Though I seem not to have made much effort, relatively speaking, to keep up with you and the goings-on in your life, know that it's my incapacity which bars more frequent communication and not a lack of caring about you.

My life has changed so absolutely dramatically since last we conversed in earnest--for the better, I think. Oh, the adventures on which I've been, the trials and tribulations I've undergone, and the travels I've undertaken, friend! There are just too many chapters in my life history to recount in just one lengthy journal entry. To be sure, I haven't the slightest idea where to begin. For this blessing in disguise, I have my friends, like you, to thank.

As alone as I think I am in the world, it's a beautiful thing to know that I'm loved, a beautiful thing to know that people appreciate my existence. God bless you. Our adventures seem to keep taking us farther and further apart, geographically and otherwise. However, I now resolve to be a more active, positively contributory participant in your life. And I hope you'll do the same for me.


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